Don’t be so hard on yourself. Yeah, you screwed up. You’re not perfect, fine. Learn from it. But don’t punish yourself. Be kind to you, even when you screw up. You’ll bounce back eventually. You’ll make up for it.
maybe i dont want to see you with someone else so thats why every time you tell me you’ve changed and want to get back together i believe you. maybe im scared of finally losing you and having no control over the situation whatsoever. its the reality of losing you to someone else because they can give you more then i can, even when i gave myself to you. im scared that when you finally move on and dont look back ill still be there waiting for someone to find when and no one will. i just want to now why we had to do this and mess up our friendship. i just need something, or someone. i dont know what it is. but all i really want is to be happy and not feel like im getting stabbed in the heart whenever i see or hear something that reminds me of you. just to be able to say i dont regret that and im happy it happened. i need to be given faith that it can happen, because its been months and im standing in the same shoes i was that sunday night when we broke up.
It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t coma back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain. Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there and you have too. You’re nodding your head.
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| — | Henry Rollins (via slekes) |
that one moment when you’ve decided you can’t do this anymore. the moment when you decided you can’t cry anymore, when you can’t miss anymore even though you really want too? I’m waiting for that one moment. i need it. i was standing next to him last night and it was like we didn’t even know each other. it was as if we never kissed or anything. never told me he loved me. if i knew that this was going to happen and i was going to lose my best friend i wouldn’t of done any of it. i don’t want to lose you. i can’t lose you. i don’t get what went wrong between us. you would get angry at me for no reason and then be happy. i can’t take it anymore. i need to know what happened to us. i may sound like a baby but i miss my best friend and i want him back now.
